If you’ve been to hell and back and lived to tell about it, would you? My answer would always be yes, if I thought it would help other people. 

But when it comes to all we’ve been through as a family this year, I never thought I would. Mostly because I felt it wasn’t my story to tell. At least in any kind of large scale way. But I recently learned, my daughter wants me to share in as many ways as I can, with as many people as I can. 

So I’m going to start talking about it, because we want more lives to be saved, and want to do our part to help make that happen. There is no easy way to say this, but here goes….

February 19th, Emma attempted suicide and was subsequently hospitalized for ten days. The trauma we all experienced before, during, and after this time is beyond what I can even begin to describe in these words. 

Emma’s will to live did not return for months after she came home. I was by her side, round the clock or if I couldn’t be, someone else was. We lived in constant fear of her successfully taking her life. While she was still hospitalized, the hospital told us she intended to try again when she came home and that she intended to be successful the next time.

But we have come so far and God has restored her and brought her our of the darkness of depression. Her recovery is nothing short of a miracle! And I will share about it soon, so that people can see an example of what is possible!

God has made it clear I’m called to start talking about this and hopefully in a book one day. My hope is to be a part of the change I wish to see. Especially as I read the heartbreaking CDC data stating that adolescent female suicide attempts increased 31% from 2019 to 2020 and 50.6% by 2021.

This conveys only a tiny sliver of the mental health crisis happening here that needs our attention. But it was really highlighted when we had to wait almost 24hrs in the emergency room before Emma could get a children’s inpatient bed, and even then she ended up having to be taken almost two hours away via ambulance.

This was because no beds were available anywhere within reasonable driving distance. And everyone we spoke to apologized, but referred to the skyrocketing numbers unlike anything they’d ever seen. None of us want this to continue. 

Just like there was no easy way to start this, there is no easy way to wrap this post when I can only share a tiny sliver at first. Today my only goal was the why and the overview but I’ll share much more on this topic soon. 

In the meantime, please know that I’m always here to listen if you are also struggling. And I know how to help you get more help. You don’t have to suffer alone. Love you guys!